I think Americans are way to oversensitive and worried about offending literally EVERYBODY! Apparently we still have too much in common with the Puritans who left Europe for America because they couldn’t deal with the European way of life! As I’m sure you’ve discovered from my last few posts, I’m currently visiting my parents in the country of my birth. Whenever I’m in the United States, I like to listen to the radio to see what the new music is like and to follow the trends that will hit Singapore in about 6 months. Unfortunately, these same radio stations are pathetically afraid of offending anyone that they censor out any word from any song that could possibly offend any person, anywhere. Sometimes these words are not even bad words, they are words that might make you think something bad….so, they themselves are bad.
Witness this afternoon….on a drive home from having dinner with a friend, I heard the Bruno Mars song, The Lazy Song. I like this song because there are many days when I don’t feel like doing anything. In the song, he talks about how lazy he’s going to be that day. One of the lines goes: “I’m gonna kick my feet up/Then stare at the fan/Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants/Nobody’s gonna tell me I can’t.” Now, I’ve had days like this, I can identify with Bruno. However, what I heard was “I’m gonna kick my feet up/Then stare at the fan/Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my <pregnant pause>/Nobody’s gonna tell me I can’t.” Are they kidding me?!?!? They censored PANTS?!?!?! Why, because it make people THINK about masturbation??!! Actually, when I think of this part of the song, I envision him sitting on the sofa with the TV on and his hand slightly in the top of his pants (sort of Al Bundy-like). I don’t think at all about masturbation. Apparently, the idiot censors thought about masturbation, so they deprived the rest of the listeners of the chance to create their own vision. Later on, the lines go: “Tomorrow I’ll wake up, do some P90X/Meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex/And she’s gonna scream out: ‘This is Great’.” Interesting, at least here he talks about sex, so I’m sure the censors just nixed it completely….and they did. Another <pregnant pause> took the place of the word sex. How ridiculous! Americans are so pathetic when it comes to trying to be completely politically correct!
I have been complaining about this for several years. This has been a problem in the United States since well before I left to live overseas. A few years before I moved I had the pleasure of hearing a song on the radio that reminded me of my childhood. The song O.P.P. came on the radio, by Naughty By Nature. I love this song because it reminds me of high school and the fun I had there. I know all the words, and I began to sing a long. At some points in the song, I noticed that I was the only one singing. “That can’t be,” I thought to myself, “I know all these words FROM THE RADIO when I was a teenager!” So, I stopped singing and listened to the song. Sure enough, they censored out parts of the song that might make a person THINK about sex…there are no explicit lyrics in this song, they say nothing specifically, but they do allude to sex, so that had to go. What’s funny is that the song was allowed to play in it’s entirety in 1990, but today it’s too risqué!?!? Have we become bigger prudes than we were in 1990? Why are things more puritanical now than they were then. Aren’t things supposed to become more LAX as the years go on? Didn’t Lucy and Ricky sleep in separate beds in the 1950s, but the Bradys shared their bed in the 1970s? This has become a lesson in idiocy! Just for those who are curious (and know the song), the lyrics that were nixed are: “O is for Other, P is for People scratchin’ temple/The last P…well…that’s not that simple/It’s sorta like another way to call a cat a kitten/It’s five little letters that are missin’ here.” The word kitten and the entire line after it were <pregnant pause>. The following was also tampered with: “As for the ladies, OPP means something gifted/The first two letters are the same but the last is something different/It’s the longest, loveliest, lean- I call it the leanest/It’s another five letter word rhymin’ with cleanest and meanest.” The entire last two lines were removed here. Has it gotten so bad that we don’t want people to THINK about the words pussy and penis?!?! So, censors are now censoring peoples’ minds?!?! This is like pre-thought censorship (if we don’t let them think it, then maybe they won’t do it).
I miss Europe. In Europe, anything goes. Fuck You, by Ceelo Greene is Fuck You, not that bastardized version, Forget You that was allowed to play on American radio. Songs like Never Say Never, by Romeo Void and Fuck You Betta, by Neon Hitch play unedited and with everyone listening. There would never be censorship of this type in Europe, let alone censoring peoples’ THOUGHTS!!! I find this obsession in the United States to “shield the children” and not offend anyone absolutely ridiculous. Every radio station has turned into a Ned Flanders or Reverend Lovejoy. I blame that damn Tipper Gore!! It’s actually backfiring….do you think those kids that hear the censored versions aren’t running home and Youtubing the original version?? It’s actually causing them to do it more than if you had just left the damn song alone in the first place!