“What do you want to do?” “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” “I don’t know what do you want do?” Does this sound familiar? Is this your natural conversation with your loved ones every weekend, or each time you decide to go out and do something? If it is, you’re someone who can’t make a decision and you’re living with someone who can’t make a decision.
People who can’t make decisions, I think, are afraid of offending the other person by making a decision that the other person might not be happy with. “What do you want to do? I want to go to a coffee shop and relax with a nice Frappuccino and talk for a couple of hours. Oh, god, really?! That’s so boring!” This dialogue is what makes a decision-less person nervous. It’s why they choose not to make the decision and allow the other person to make it. These people are the altruistic decision-less people. They put the happiness of the other person ahead of their own preferences.
Unfortunately, many people who can’t make decisions are not actually worried about the other person. They just can’t decide! These are the people who hold up the line at a fast-food restaurant. They’re the ones that try on 45 different pairs of shoes or sip 10 bottles of wine in a restaurant. These people just can’t make up their minds about anything. Choosing which oatmeal to buy is a grueling decision for them that requires lots of thought and vacillating back and forth (do I get the Quaker or do I get the Nestle?). These people keep other, decision-making, people from completing their daily routine. These people hold up lines, keep salesclerks busy and get stumped by the question “how would you like to pay for that?” These people do not know they are being inconsiderate by not making a decision, they are too busy worrying about what to do!
People who can’t make decisions at work are the worst ones. They keep other people from performing their job. Often, these people are in a position of power, and have no clue what they’re doing. They have to get everyone’s opinion TWICE, and evaluate every possible scenario before actually deciding what to do. I often make the decision for these people, and make them think that they actually made the decision. I’m getting very good at it.
Sometimes I’m guilty of not being able to make a decision, but that is usually when the decision is a big, life-altering decision. My decision to come to Singapore took a couple of days, with me weighing the good and bad and determining the possible outcomes. Some decisions warrant some time spent trying to pick the same option. When purchasing new things, my father never makes a rash decision, he researches and researches and then he researches some more, to make sure the one he’s buying is the best, highest-rated product, with the most features, that he can get for his money. It usually takes him a few weeks before making a major purchase. This is how he deals with major decisions, but ask him where he wants to go for dinner, and he knows right away. People that can’t cope with these small decisions are highly annoying to those of us who can. Just make up your damn mind already!!!!