Public Bathroom Stalls that are Too Small

stalls 3I am a little shy when it comes to going to the bathroom in a public place.  I am totally a stall man.  I never use the urinal (or, worse, the large trough that exists in some bathrooms).  First of all, I don’t need some other guy staring at my “manhood” while I’m peeing next to him.  I also don’t usually whip it out of the open fly in my shorts, I like to open the entire button and fly, and pull them down a little bit to allow for a more “unfettered” experience.  Therefore, I only use the stalls when I’m in a public restroom.

stalls 1I am also a very large man.  I have written about my size many times before.  For this reason, I even find it hard to use the stalls in many public bathrooms.  There are some bathrooms that have such a small stall that I find it difficult to believe that even normal-sized people could fit in the there to “do their business.”  These stalls are about 3 feet wide and 4-5 feet deep.  It makes for a tiny fit.  Sometimes I’ll enter a bathroom stall in a public bathroom and I have to move all the way in, straddling the toilet bowl, just to get the door to close behind me.  Or, I will move to the side and flatten myself against the stall’s wall so I can push the door past my large frame.  This makes for a very messy scene because many of these stalls are not kept in the most clean condition and straddling the bowl or flattening my body against the wall might cause some of the “uncleanliness” to rub off on me.  Needless to say I jump in the shower the minute I get home, or the laundry gets done instantly.

stalls 2Recently I have begun to use the handicapped toilet (if they have one).  Since these stalls need to be able to fit a wheelchair in them, they are larger than the other stalls (often twice the size) and they have doors that open outward so I don’t have to flatten or straddle when I close the door.  Also, coming from China, the handicapped toilet was often the only one that had a regular “western-style” toilet, and not a squatter hole-in-the-floor.  I do realize I’m only using it for peeing, but the sweet sound of the tinkling water and the metal bars to hold on to make it like a first class seat on a flight across the Pacific!  But, a Chinese hole in the floor with a door to keep it private will do in a pinch.  Unfortunately many of them don’t have doors, or even walls around them.  In that case I just hold it in and wait until a more “civilized” bathroom can be found.

I don’t think I’ll ever stop using the stalls and switch to the urinals.  I’m just not comfortable peeing while standing next to another guy.  Unfortunately, this leads to other problems when the stalls are too small for my large frame.  Why can’t someone make a bathroom stall for the “full-figured” man!?  I guess I’ll just have to be “handicapped” and use the larger stalls when possible.  We all know I’m slightly mentally handicapped anyway (haha)!!

Chinese "hole-in-the-floor" toilet.

Chinese “hole-in-the-floor” toilet.

 

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1 Comment

  1. Omg, we ladies have these problems all the damn time. Maybe we should have a meme site where we name and shame toilet owners around the countries. We can sometimes get a muscle strain trying to clean up after using the loo, because of a huge steel paper dispenser dominating one side next to the head. As far as backing up to close the door, straggling the bowl, this happens a lot. They could make doors open outward or bi folded like some telephone kiosks, but they are probably not interested. Take care.

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