I live in Singapore, the land of perpetual summer. Every day here is like a warm summer day in New York or Madrid. This makes it so much more perplexing when I see young people (usually men) wearing wool knit hats. There is no snow for thousands of miles, and no possibility of cold weather where they might need to keep their head warm. These wool hats serve absolutely no purpose in a place like Singapore. These hats serve absolutely no purpose when the weather is warmer than 10 degrees Celsius (50 degrees for our Fahrenheit friends).
I blame David Beckham for this trend. He’s the first person I remember seeing in a wool hat in warm weather. While he’s a good soccer player, he’s a complete idiot when it comes to fashion. Whenever I see him, and he’s not in a uniform or a clothing ad, he looks horrible. It’s hard to believe that he’s married to a woman who used to be called “posh!” He’s a good looking man, but he doesn’t know how to “dress it up.”
This trend of wearing the wool hat in summer is part of a larger problem that I will save for another blog. I’m going to hit upon it here, but I have a lot more to say and a lot more to complain about with these people. Most of the people who wear these hats in summer can be described as “hipsters.” A hipster is a young person (usually a male) who “shuns convention and embraces an effortless cool Bohemian look” (www.urbandictionary.com). These people are most annoying to all people they come in contact with. I have never met a person (who wasn’t a hipster) who actually enjoyed being around hipsters. Hipsters have embraced this wool hat in summer look, often wearing the hat until it smells so rancid that people have to walk away from the hipster to be able to breath. The sweaty head underneath emits such an odor that, when forced to stand close to them, people’s eyes start tearing and their faces scrunch up into that “I just smelled something disgusting” look. Hipsters should all carry around clothespins for the poor people around them. Their wool hats are polluting the air and making everyone sick! Look for a larger post about hipsters sometime in the future.
This wool hat trend must stop. Areas like Singapore should not even sell these things. There is no foreseeable reason to ever have the need for one of these things in a climate like Singapore. They should be banned, like they banned gum and spitting on the sidewalk. This is an epidemic that needs to be eradicated. Then we can all breath easier on the metro and bus when a hatless hipster comes on board. Now if we could just get them to wash their clothes and their hair more often, we could make useful members of society out of them!