People Who Walk too Slowly on Sidewalks and in Corridors

I have back issues.  I have 2 herniated disks that hurt whenever I walk too much or sit too much.  Luckily, I’m a teacher, so I have a good combination of the two positions during the day.  That being said, I have been walking quite a bit more slowly than I usually do.  AND I STILL GET STUCK BEHIND SLOW PEOPLE!

Raise your hand if you’ve had this experience: You’re walking down the street, perhaps in a bit of a hurry, and come up behind a couple. They’re walking several beats slower than you are and they’re taking up the entire sidewalk, so that you can’t get around them. You’re forced to slow down. You try everything short of actually shoving them out of the way to return to your natural pace but no can do. They are completely oblivious to your plight. They’re chatting away happily, moseying down the street as if they had all the time in the world. And suddenly, you’re filled with an irrational anger. You want to shout at them to “Move Damn it!!!” Can’t they see that you have places to go? Their time may not be important, but yours is. You get so angry, you actually want to punch these inconsiderate bastards in the back of the head. How dare they get in your way like that?

OK, put your hands down.  There are times when I need to get somewhere quickly (say my next class), and a gaggle of slowpokes is walking in a line in front of me, taking up the entire width of the corridor.  It’s impossible to pass them without breaking through them.  So I walk slowly, and the bell rings, and I (the teacher) am late for class.  I penalize my students for being late….what happens when the teacher is late?

Or, when people just stop randomly in the middle of their stride to pick up their phone, or to check their watch.  Sometimes I deliberately walk into them, feigning apology, because they need to be punished for doing something so completely inconsiderate and rude!  I just want to take that phone and throw it across the street in hopes that some steamroller comes in and crushes it to undiscernible pulp!

In all fairness, I was born and raised in New York, the hurry-up capital of the world.  My speed of movement in getting from place to place might not need to be so great, but I can’t “mosey” somewhere.  I have to walk with determination and get to my destination in a timely fashion.  Even the speed of my speech is sometimes too fast for people to fully understand me.  This is not an excuse for people who are too slow.  I’m not talking about people who are too slow RELATIVE TO ME, I’m talking about people who are just slow.

The Chinese are the worst with this.  They walk down the street or in the mall like they’re the grand marshall of some parade, slow and steady.  The speed of their feet does not match the speed of mine and I’m forced to walk behind them…..slowly!  They also tend not to pay attention to the path they are taking to their destination, preferring, rather, to play on their phones or look at what’s around them.  This is why I’ve been walk into by many people during my time living in China.  They just don’t pay attention.  The situation is similar here in Singapore, but definitely not as widespread as in China.  So my speed (and tendency to bruise) is slightly better.

I’m tired of getting the nasty looks when I pass someone up on the sidewalk, or in the corridor.  There’s no reason for them to be upset that I have passed them.  THEY WERE WALKING TOO SLOWLY!  People need to pick up the step and get moving, or just GET OUT OF MY WAY!  Next time, I’m just going to barrel through them!

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