Celebrity Couple Nicknames

It started long ago, most people don’t remember the first.  I’m not even sure if it IS the first, but it’s the earliest one I can remember.  It all started in a small town in California called Hollywood, and a celebrity couple.  She was a wisecracking red-head and he was a sultry Cuban singer.  They were Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz….they created the company Desilu Studios.


Little did they know that they were starting a phenomenon that, until recently, was only a once-in-a-while thing (do you know who Cash and Cary were, do you remember Posh and Beck?).  I don’t know what the mentality of the contemporary public is, but they are obsessed with combining the names of celebrity couples into one name.  It’s as if each member of the couple has completely lost their identity, and can only be identified as one half of this new entity that has been created.  They cease to exist as one person!

You know who they are…..let’s see how many you can separate into their constituent parts: 1. Brangelina (an easy one), 2. Bennifer, 3. Tomkat, 4. Vaughniston, 5. Zanessa, 6. Speidi, 7. Tay-squared, 8. Garfleck, 9. Jethroux (a hard one).  Answers are at the bottom!  Bonnie Fuller, of American Media, has said that “using playful uni-names helps fans feel as if they’re “shaping the stars’ image.”  It gives them the feeling of being “in the know,” as if they’re part of the family.  It makes people feel closer to the stars and makes fans more comfortable with the relationship.  I don’t know what the fans need to feel comfortable for, it’s not their relationship, it’s just some famous (or not really famous, as is the case with Kim Kardashian) people who happened to find each other.

The phenomenon is not limited to actors, either.  Singers, sports stars and even politicians get abbreviated into one mass.  Do you know these: 10. Spederline, 11. Haylor, 12. Kimye, 13. Bee-Z, 14. Brady Bundch, 15. Billary?  The phenomenon has gone too far.  When we have celebritized politicians to the point where they become a “single name couple,” we’ve gone too far.  The public has an obsession with celebrities, we know that.  People like to pretend they live the celebrity life, and want to be a part of that exotic lifestyle.  I have to agree with Bonnie Fuller, I think people want to pretend like they are close to celebrities.  People are disappointed with their own lives, so they have to feel closer to those that they idolize and put on pedestals.  Celebrities are usually undeserving of this idolatry, but people continue to do it.  Even Miranda Hart, in that wonderful sitcom Miranda, made fun of the phenomenon when she said of her and her boyfriend Mike, “they’ll call us Mirichael, no…..Miracle.”  Enough said!

Answers: 1. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, 2. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, 3. Tom Cruise and Katie Homes, 4. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, 5. Zach Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, 6. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, 7. Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner, 8. Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, 9. Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux, 10. Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, 11. Harry Styles and Taylor Swift, 12. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, 13. Beyoncé and Jay-Z, 14. Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen, 15. Bill and Hillary Clinton.

If you got less than 5 correct, good for you…..you avoid the hype.  If you got between 5 and 10 right, you have been infiltrated by the media and need to watch less Entertainment Tonight and Ellen.  If you got more than 10 right, you should HOST Entertainment Tonight or Ellen!  For shame!


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